Three Ways of Staying Healthy
Hannah
04/10/2012
There are three sensible ways of staying healthy. The first way is keeping the regular life style. To live regular life style is very important. Lifestyle is the first thing of healthful health. If you don't live regularly, you could have a problem in your body. Lifestyle is directly connected with your health, so you should take care of regularity of life.
The second way is taking the exercise. Exercise make you strong. You can get a strong body thanks to the exercise. It is helpful to everyone who wants to get a high immunity.
The third way is healthful habit of eating. The food that you usually eat can be the key of preventing disease. The nutrient of food is important to balance your health. You should eat various nutrient for staying healthy. These three ways of staying healthy are helpful for your life.
Hi, Hannnah:)!
ReplyDeleteYour topic is very proper for thesedays people.It could be very interesting and helpful for others when there is little more details.
First, I think you need more introduction and conclusion paragraph.One or two more sentence make your writing more specific and organized.If you had enough introduction and conclusion, paragraphs should be seperate with the body paragraph.
Second, It wil be better if you have more support sentences for your three main ideas. Your main ideas have broad concept, so it could be more abundant contents.
I hope my comment is helpful for you!
See you in class:^)!
Hannah - Yoon has given good advice.
ReplyDelete1. You need an intro and conclusion
2. You need more supporting details
3. You need to be more specific - what is a regular lifestyle? what kind of exercise? what is healthy eating?